When My Ideas Get Ahead of Me

Last year, I bought some leather and tools, then made a belt. I still wear it. There’s something satisfying about looking at an object I use every day and knowing I made it myself. I also made a coaster, although it wasn’t a perfect circle. The main goal was to practice my stitching, and the stitches came out great, even if the shape still needs work.

I’ve wanted to start a business many times. With leatherwork, my mind leaped from those first projects to a business name, a website, and a place where people could buy things I made.

I set up a site called Hide & Oath and started imagining simple products: belts, keychains, trays. Meanwhile, I was still struggling to sit down and practice the leatherwork itself.

It’s a pretty clear example of something I do. I get excited about where an idea could go, then overwhelm myself with everything it would take to get there.

Having ideas has never really been the difficult part. Following through is where I get stuck.

At first, an idea feels good. I can picture what I want to create, and I want to explore every possibility. A hobby could become something I’m good at. Something I’m good at could become something I sell. Before I’ve spent much time learning, I’m already thinking about what comes next.

Eventually, the idea grows so large that I no longer know where to begin. The excitement turns into pressure. Sometimes I quit before I’ve given myself much of a chance.

With leatherwork, I can tell myself, “Let’s go craft something,” and feel overwhelmed before I’ve even started. I already have the tools and leather. I want to use them. Then I get stuck trying to decide what to do.

Part of the problem may be that I don’t have clear instructions or steps. Sometimes I feel as if I can’t do something without a person or resource telling me how. Even a simple project can feel difficult to approach when I don’t know how to break it down.

It feels easier when someone is with me. I like being able to ask, “Hey, what do you think about this?” or “Would this be a better way to do it?” Bouncing ideas off someone may be part of what helps. I’m still trying to understand why it makes such a difference.

That uncertainty about where to begin shows up in other parts of my life, too.

I’ve sat down with a notebook, wanting to get my thoughts out, and ended up staring at a blank page. There can be plenty going on in my head and still nothing making it onto the paper. I start doodling. My attention drifts somewhere else. Eventually, I might end up playing a game instead.

I’ve tried organizer apps, too. I want a place to put everything so I can figure out what to do next. But then organizing the ideas starts to feel like another project, and I become overwhelmed by the very thing that was supposed to help.

It’s frustrating to want to do something and still find yourself avoiding it.

Games and TV are things I enjoy. Sometimes they give me a break I genuinely need. Other times, I know I’m using them to avoid the uncomfortable feeling of trying to start. It’s easier to settle into something familiar than to sit with an idea I care about and not know what to do with it.

The idea stays in the back of my mind. Then I start thinking about how I haven’t worked on it, which makes returning to it feel even harder.

I’m trying to pay more attention to that cycle. There’s a difference between taking a break and repeatedly avoiding something because I’ve made it feel impossible. I don’t always recognize which one I’m doing until afterward.

Writing has given me a way to look at some of this.

Anxiety helped push me to start getting my thoughts out. Keeping that going has still been difficult. I can want to write and get distracted. I can have something I want to say and still struggle to find a starting point.

What feels different now is that I’m finding some help with that first step. Talking through my thoughts and using AI to help organize them have made it easier to turn scattered ideas into a draft. I can begin with what’s actually in my head, even when it comes out messy.

It also makes me wonder whether AI could help me talk through a leather project, work out the steps, and ask questions along the way. I haven’t figured that out yet. I’m still struggling to move forward with the actual making.

Sometimes I need a little company while I’m figuring things out, too. The animals in our household help with that overwhelmed feeling, especially the kittens. Orzo, our all-white kitten, has been a particular comfort.

She follows me around while I do chores, watching what I’m doing. I talk to her as I go. When she cuddles with me and purrs, I feel less alone. Sometimes she gently reaches up and touches my face with her paw.

Those little moments help when my thoughts feel crowded. For a while, I can focus on her instead of everything I think I should be doing. There’s comfort in having her nearby, whether I’m getting something done or simply having a difficult time.

I want to make room for that comfort without feeling as if every moment has to produce something.

I also want to give my ideas a chance without expecting so much from them right away.

I do like the idea of Hide & Oath. I can see why building the website appealed to me. It gave my excitement somewhere to go. But the website can’t give me the practice I keep putting off.

A smaller project could be a place to begin, but I’m realizing that “start small” still leaves me wondering how to start. I think I need a clear first step and a way to talk through the parts I don’t understand. Then I need time to practice before expecting myself to have something ready to sell.

Even writing that down is easier than doing it. I still get overwhelmed and distracted, and I still catch myself thinking several steps ahead. I’m figuring out what kind of help will make it easier to actually sit down and try.

But I can see the pattern more clearly now, and writing about it gives me a way to be honest about where I am.

I’d like to spend more time finding out what I enjoy making before deciding how far it needs to go.

I’ve already made a belt I still wear and a coaster to practice my stitching. Those are beginnings worth coming back to.